*单位的电话响了*
上司：你为什么不接电话？我：多响一会儿再接。这样他们就会觉得我除了在电话上蛋逼之外还有别的工作忙。
上司：赶紧他妈的接电话！！
我：这里是999，请问您有什么紧急状况呢？
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!!
Me: 999, what's the emergency?
...--microwave